No smoke without ire

I took a flight to Porto on Friday, on the way to Spain for the annual (and entirely bonkers) carnival in Galicia. Your standard EasyJet pack 'em in, fly 'em cheap affair - nothing out of the ordinary. It was noteworthy only for one thing - a chap set off the smoke alarm in the bogs by nipping in there for a sneaky gasper.

He was a Portuguese fellow, and will not therefore necessarily have understood the warnings from the English-speaking cabin crew not to smoke on any part of the plane, and that the toilets were alarmed in case you were tempted to do so.

But he can't have missed the 'No Smoking' signs plastered all over the place, which are clear to speakers of any language, nor the recorded announcement in Portuguese issuing the same dire warnings. So the crew announced that somebody had smoked in the bog, and we were told to remain in our seats when the plane reached the stand. They clearly knew who had done the deed, and had obviously called the police. On they got, and removed the miscreant, before the rest of us more law-abiding citizens were allowed to grab our bags and disembark.

Trouble for him, I thought. But, being one of the last ones off the plane, I found myself walking alongside the same figutive from justice as we made our way into the terminal. He seemed chipper enough and even, spotting the police who'd removed him from the aircraft through the terminal window, gave them a cheery wave. And they waved back! Now I don't for one moment think the bloke should do porridge with hard labour for sneaking a fag on a flight, but given the hysteria surrounding security on any flight these days, is it a risk you'd have taken? And can you imagine the reaction of the British police, had he been flying from Porto to London instead of the other way round? I seriously doubt he would have got away with what looked like a warning, and at worst an on-the-spot fine, and a cheery wave from our own boys in blue.

Also, never having smoked, I simply do not understand the imperatives which drive smokers. But is it so vital to have a fag that you can't wait for the three hours or so between them that a flight of this length requires? Is it so vital that you would risk the wrath of the security forces to sneak a cheeky one on a flight, in an age where any small misdeed on an aircraft could see you being viewed as a potential terrorist nutcase by passengers, staff and security alike?

I think, given the possible response to such an act, in the circumstances I would have waited. But then, like I said, I've never smoked.