Al-drearier

I'm not going to dwell on the actual match TOO much because, unlike much of the media and particularly people within the game itself, I credit most supporters with knowing and understanding exactly what they're watching on the pitch, so it's not necessary. I'd rather pick out the stuff which stood out during another evening of torment and still sticks in my craw a couple of hours afterwards.

Firstly, Wayne 'undroppable' Rooney, having a pop at the support as he leaves the field. WTF? I'd like to know exactly what it is you've got to do as a supporter to earn the right to express your displeasure at the end of a game. Huge numbers of fans spend thousands of pounds, which unlike Rooney represents a significant percentage of their income, travel to another continent, spend what's probably in many cases their only holiday of the year following the team around and then get behind them during the game, without actually getting on their backs until after the final whistle. I think that earns you the right to express your displeasure at hugely, hugely overpaid footballers performing abjectly, lethargically, dispassionately and without any quality whatsoever. So suck it up, Rooney - if the fans can't let you know under tonight's circumstances then when the fuck can they? How much more sacrifice have you got to make before it's OK to dare to even boo at a game? I underperform at work, people write to my employer to complain. (What I do for a living is also subject to public scrutiny, albeit from the comfort of anonimity). This happens sufficiently frequently I get a bollocking, eventually I lose my job, just like everybody else.

Yet our great hope seems absolutely bomb-proof - discussions on Radio 5Live this morning centred around who should play up front with him, with the one dissenting voice suggesting that perhaps Rooney himself should be dropped, roundly dismissed as the ravings of a half-wit. The most irritating thing of all is that if you put the bumptious git in a fucking Utd shirt you can bet he'd perform, the England shirt seems to weigh so heavily on their shoulders that they can barely move.

While on the fans, while I applaud the numbers who turn up, and the patience with the team right up to the point at which the final whistle blew, I'd just like to say: 37th minute. England abject. Goal-less, uninspired, insipid, generally wretched. Cut to shot of fans looking accordingly glum. Until, that is, they realise that they're on the big screen in the stadium. Cue instant delirium, all the woes of the game forgotten, as they leap about like demented 9-year-olds because they're on a telly screen for a few seconds. WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE DO THIS? Is this occurrence so utterly blissful that it renders the mere game they've travelled thousands of miles to watch irrelevant? Do they spend the rest of the game with a fixed grin on their faces because they've 'been on telly'? I just don't understand what makes them so happy about it.

I mentioned this to a mate after the game and he pointed out, quite accurately in my opinion, that if attention is the drug that induces this lunatic behaviour, then they'd be MUCH better off remaining seated, shaking a stern-faced head and mouthing the word 'rubbish'. THAT would be replayed ad infinitum, and they could cavort around in their own living rooms with the sheer joy of it all for days afterwards.

Last thing - for all the commentators banging on about systems, playing Gerrard behind Rooney, blah blah blah, well. Firstly these are supposed to be international players in one of the stronger footballing nations - they should be able to accept the job given to them by the manager and adapt accordingly. However, it doesn't matter what system you play if the players cannot pass the ball to their own teammates - that would render even the tactical plans of Sun Tzu and Jose Mourinho's genius savant love-child completely irrelevant.

For all this, I suppose I should be grateful to the team for looking like they're going to spare us the usual agony of heroic or unjustified defeat, probably on penalties, and instead merely depart meekly and leave us to enjoy the rest of the tournament. Who knows? We may even get to watch some teams employing that revolutionary new tactic of passing the ball to players wearing the same shirt. I hear it's all the rage outside England.