I think one of our cats is trying to kill me. The little kitler* just made her closest attempt yet to trip me at the top of the stairs and send me plunging to my death. She then, like most assassins I assume, left the scene as quickly as possible and assumed a practised look of complete innocence.
I'm not certain what brought this on, but I have one suspicion. In these straightened times it has proved necessary on occasion to serve own-brand cat food rather than the gourmet variety which 8 out of 10 cats are said to prefer. (How they go about asking these cats and gleaning their responses has never been made clear to us, but I'm prepared to accept their statistics).
Tonight was one such occasion and, just perhaps, said cat's measured response to being fed less than tip-top quality scran is to attempt to KILL the man who served it to her.
*I didn't invent this term. www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com